Happy New Year Single Squad!!! Can you believe that we are already 10 days in? It reminded me that not everyone finds this time of year to be a joyous occasion of refreshing or renewal. I know I have certainly felt that way before. In fact, it was around this time of year that I found out that the man I had dedicated the last year and a half of my life to had been lying to me the entire time. He was married and had a baby on the way! How could he betray me like this? We even grew up together so it wasn’t as if he couldn’t be honest with me or that he didn’t know me. And to make matters worse, he was the one that pursued me. Why would he do something like this? And when I asked him about it, he denied that he was married and the child was someone else’s. Needless to say, I was furious. He tried everything he could to stay in my life. He would try to contact me at work, take some time before he contacted me in hopes that I had “cooled off’, and refused to leave me alone. I would answer his call arguing with him, spewing hurt. All I wanted was for him to admit what he did so that I could have closure and move on. But he refused to give it me. It was then that my mother told me that I needed to find my own closure. And let me tell you, it took a long time but I was able to find the closure I needed. Has someone refused to give closure? You don’t have to wait for them to receive it. Let me show you how.
1. Recall the situation as it was. In order to begin healing, you have to gain an understanding of why the situation happened. Were there signs that were missed or ignored? Recall those things so that you can receive the clarity and knowledge of the lessons that you are to learn from the situation. It will prevent you from repeating the same mistakes again.
2. Forgive that person. This is a hard one but absolutely necessary. Forgiving the person releases you from the situation and the trauma that it caused. It releases them from being attached to you. We forgive others because we want to be forgiven as well when we make mistakes. It does not justify what they did but it does release you from their grips of power that they have over you when you hold on to unforgiveness.
3. Forgive yourself. This is where journaling, prayer, and meditation come in. First, journal or write a letter about your feelings. Seeing it on paper will give you a greater understanding of how you feel so you know what areas need healing. Then, pray about how you’re feeling so that you can release the negative energy and receive the joy you deserve. It may be helpful to write out your prayer first so that you can remain focused. Finally, meditate on Psalm 55:22. It will help you to move on and release the negativity.
4. Move on. You can’t focus on the present or future if you’re looking back in the past. What that person does with their life is their business. Do not be offended because they moved on. If they haven’t changed, they have become someone else’s problem. Remember that people change when they are ready not because you want them to. Look forward to the beauty of a new beginning and know that you are now armed with a right heart and understanding now. Give yourself permission to move on for good and receive the joy of a loving relationship that lies ahead.
If you need assistance in moving on or are looking to date again, book your Happy Single Breakthrough Session with me today! It’s free and we can discuss your next steps towards healthier relationships and being found by “The One”. Visit the services page and book now!