Hey Single Squad! I know that when you’re single it can feel like a long and dreadful season. It’s almost like a never-ending rainy day when all you want to do is go outside into the sunshine. Can I tell you something? It doesn’t have to be or feel this way. We often have these types of feelings when we have too much time on our hands or when we see a happy couple who reminds of our singleness. Its as if something is missing….and there is. You see, when we are unoccupied and our mind is unfocused, it is a playground for our negative thoughts to run around and do what they want and that is destroy our confidence. So, you have to capture those thoughts and change them. And the only way to change them is to take action. Here are 4 ways that you can change them today while you’re waiting for marriage.
1. Learn who you are. When we are in relationships, especially women, we often adapt and take on the likes and personality of the person we are dating. We may forget who we are or more often, we have no idea who we are and what we like and why. Being single is the best time to learn about who you, what you value, and your boundaries. Its hard to do it in a relationship because you are focused on the other person and that’s why now is the best time. Your time can be strictly dedicated to learning your value and worth and what is acceptable to you. Do you know who you are?
2. Discover what you were created to do. Having a passion and purpose will drive your growth and happiness. Finding your purpose will fulfill you. Remember, you are in charge of your happiness and being in a relationship is a very small portion of what will make you happy. Sometimes it won’t even do that. Doing something that you love will give you a happiness like you’ve never known and it will often be a blessing to others. Do you know your purpose? Think about it and try out what you believe it is. You can volunteer or research it and then try it. It will not only get you out of the house but it will get you out of your negative thoughts. What will you try?
3. Strengthen your mental wellness. I am an advocate for Jesus and therapy. Often, we are not free from past hurt and the damages of broken relationships. I believe that a therapist can give you practical everyday tools to use while the bible gives you spiritual guidance and principles. There is no shame in seeing a therapist. It’s better to go now so that you prune away the things that have been built up inside of you that is hurting and build the skills needed to have a great relationship. Not only with others but also a great relationship with yourself.
4. Surround yourself with godly friends and mentors. Life is not meant to be lived alone. You don’t have to be in a relationship to not feel lonely. Surround yourself with a supportive group of friends and mentors who can be open and honest with you. They will hold you accountable and help you to grow in how you relate to others. If you don’t have friends, go out and join a group where you can meet new people. It can be a singles group at your church or you can check out Meetup which is an app where people post group gatherings for a variety of activities. There is something there that I am sure you will love to get out and try.
I hope that you will try all of the suggestions above. You don’t have to wait until marriage to begin living your life. And to bring the best you into a relationship, you must understand who you are, what your purpose is, have a strong mind, and a strong community. Are you going to try it? Let me know in the comments. If you are looking for a coach who understands all things single and you need a little help, visit the services page and schedule your free breakthrough session with me today!