When I was single and headed towards 30, I used to feel like being single was almost a death sentence. Almost every woman I knew was happily married with children and I was in the military just throwing myself into my career. I was traveling the world but I couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. Like I was missing out on something major. Most people said that I should be happy about all of my accomplishments and that I had freedom to do and be whatever I wanted because I was single. But I felt the total opposite. Without someone to share those things with, it felt meaningless. It took some time before I realized that quite the opposite was true. That I should be happy and that I have a great life regardless. It took time, but I eventually enjoyed being single and I was still hopeful for the future without feeling like something was missing. And you know what? I want you to know that you are not missing out. The only thing you are missing is living a life filled with joy and happiness. That’s why I want to share with you a few habits I developed to help me be a satisfied single.
1. Don’t wait to be in a relationship to live your life. Often, we put off plans to travel to new and exciting places because we feel like we need to have someone there to experience it with us. Honestly, it just isn’t true. I have traveled a lot alone and it was great. I have met some exciting people on my trips, some of which I am still in contact with. Now whenever I travel, I have others to visit or to travel with me. Never be afraid to do things alone. What if your spouse doesn’t enjoy the things you like to do? Will you stop doing them? You shouldn’t. So, spend time finding out what you love to do and what makes you happy, and then do it.
2. Continue growing by trying new things. I found new hobbies to help me grow and did things outside of my comfort zone. Once a week I would take myself out on a date, usually dinner and a movie. To this day I still do it because I need “me” time to do things I enjoy. I took crafting classes, read books about new interests, and went to networking events. I recognized that I am still an individual and that I have to continue to grow whether I am single or not. What is something you will try?
3. Continuously working on having healthy relationships. Working on your relationships sets the foundation for your relationship with your future spouse. We all want to be a great spouse, lover, and friend. Sometimes we can forget that it starts with our other relationships. Do you have a bad relationship with your parents? Forgive them so you can move on. Forgiveness is the greatest tool you can have in any relationship. It doesn’t mean that you continue the relationship, unless you want to. Do you have a friend that needs to be cut off? Release them. Setting healthy boundaries in your relationships will help you and your marriage in the future.
I just want you to remember to live each day to the fullest. You are in control of your happiness and when you become satisfied with yourself and your life, it attracts what you have been desiring all along… a great relationship with a great spouse.
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